Monday, November 30, 2009
Varsity Dad in the New York Times
For those who missed it yesterday, there was a terrific Varsity Dad experience in the New York Times sports section: An article written by me about taking my older son to his first basketball game. (If you saw the print edition, you may have seen Gabe's smiling face taking up the top quarter of the page.) It was fun to write and a thrill to see in print (and online). More soon.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Emily Monforto and Amazing Sports Parenting
The Varsity Dad sports parenting moment of the year came on Tuesday night.
As you have undoubtedly seen on YouTube or the Today show or cable news, Phillies fan Steve Monforto caught a foul ball from Jayson Werth. High-fives all around. He gave the ball to his 3-year-old daughter, Emily Monforto... who promptly proceeded to toss the ball back.
Steve Monforto's reaction?
He hugged his daughter. And the look on his face has no trace of disappointment, let alone frustration or anger. Just love. (See the video here.)
Love for his kid. Love that this is EXACTLY what a 3-year-old is supposed to do. Love that Emily's lesson from all those catches in the backyard is: Throw the ball!
It was the perfect reaction. It should be used as the model for all parents out there who want to incorporate sports into their kids lives.
At Varsity Dad, we talk about raising a good sports fan. In this case, you can't have taught a better lesson or had a better experience. And I'm quite sure that part of the reason I love this story is because I have a 3-year-old of my own.
But there is a wider thing about parents who want to push their kids into -- and through -- sports. Maybe they are trying to reclaim their own glory (or non-glory). Maybe they earnestly want to earn a college scholarship for the kid. Maybe the kid genuinely likes it.
Either way, the process starts young, and the first lesson -- at age 3 (hell, at age 13) -- is simply to love the game. Love watching it. Love watching it with your dad or mom.
I'll bet there are sports-crazed parents out there who would have at least looked annoyed at their kid. Not a trace of that from Steve Monforto.
Just love of his kid and love of being at the game with her.
It is a lesson that every sports fan -- parent or otherwise -- should embrace.
-- D.S.
PS: All's well that ends well. When the Monfortos were on the Today show this morning, they were presented with personalized Phillies jerseys, along with a ball signed by Jayson Werth. To their credit, the Phillies gave Steve Monforto a replacement ball at the game. Whoever caught the real ball could earn a lot of goodwill by giving it back to Emily Monforto.
(OK, if I can offer one bit of constructive criticism, from the Varsity Dad handbook: Steve, ditch the pink Phillies cap for Emily and give her a classic red Phillies hat. You get one, why not her?)
As you have undoubtedly seen on YouTube or the Today show or cable news, Phillies fan Steve Monforto caught a foul ball from Jayson Werth. High-fives all around. He gave the ball to his 3-year-old daughter, Emily Monforto... who promptly proceeded to toss the ball back.
Steve Monforto's reaction?
He hugged his daughter. And the look on his face has no trace of disappointment, let alone frustration or anger. Just love. (See the video here.)
Love for his kid. Love that this is EXACTLY what a 3-year-old is supposed to do. Love that Emily's lesson from all those catches in the backyard is: Throw the ball!
It was the perfect reaction. It should be used as the model for all parents out there who want to incorporate sports into their kids lives.
At Varsity Dad, we talk about raising a good sports fan. In this case, you can't have taught a better lesson or had a better experience. And I'm quite sure that part of the reason I love this story is because I have a 3-year-old of my own.
But there is a wider thing about parents who want to push their kids into -- and through -- sports. Maybe they are trying to reclaim their own glory (or non-glory). Maybe they earnestly want to earn a college scholarship for the kid. Maybe the kid genuinely likes it.
Either way, the process starts young, and the first lesson -- at age 3 (hell, at age 13) -- is simply to love the game. Love watching it. Love watching it with your dad or mom.
I'll bet there are sports-crazed parents out there who would have at least looked annoyed at their kid. Not a trace of that from Steve Monforto.
Just love of his kid and love of being at the game with her.
It is a lesson that every sports fan -- parent or otherwise -- should embrace.
-- D.S.
PS: All's well that ends well. When the Monfortos were on the Today show this morning, they were presented with personalized Phillies jerseys, along with a ball signed by Jayson Werth. To their credit, the Phillies gave Steve Monforto a replacement ball at the game. Whoever caught the real ball could earn a lot of goodwill by giving it back to Emily Monforto.
(OK, if I can offer one bit of constructive criticism, from the Varsity Dad handbook: Steve, ditch the pink Phillies cap for Emily and give her a classic red Phillies hat. You get one, why not her?)
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Nerf Hoops: Made For Teaching Trash Talk
While shooting on the mini-Nerf hoop, I just taught G the 3-year-old Varsity Kid the taunting phrase "Makin' it rain!!!" A trash-talker is born. Nevermind the shots weren't close -- it's the thought that counts.
-- Dan
-- Dan
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Do Sports Turn Kids Into Bullies?
The short answer, per Kate Dailey at Newsweek.com, is yes.
Here's the caveat: When kids are maniacally focused on their sport -- without well-rounded experiences in things like community service or the arts or anything BUT sports -- they can turn into bullies. (I like Dailey's analogy of Cobra-Kai's Johnny.)
The other big factor: Is the coach nurturing or like Cobra-Kai's evil Kreese? Do they teach sportsmanship, in addition to skill-building? Do they try to make it about the play, rather than the winning?
I just finished a terrific new book by the journalist Joe Drape, called "Our Boys," about the uber-successful Smith Center High School football team in western Kansas. Coach Barta is precisely this nurturing kind of coach; despite his success, he is about developing young men into good men.
I know this blog is about raising all-star sports fans, rather than all-star athletes. But participating in sports -- playing -- is as much a part about growing up to love sports as a fan as anything else. The goal is to make that sports participation as productive as possible.
-- Dan
Here's the caveat: When kids are maniacally focused on their sport -- without well-rounded experiences in things like community service or the arts or anything BUT sports -- they can turn into bullies. (I like Dailey's analogy of Cobra-Kai's Johnny.)
The other big factor: Is the coach nurturing or like Cobra-Kai's evil Kreese? Do they teach sportsmanship, in addition to skill-building? Do they try to make it about the play, rather than the winning?
I just finished a terrific new book by the journalist Joe Drape, called "Our Boys," about the uber-successful Smith Center High School football team in western Kansas. Coach Barta is precisely this nurturing kind of coach; despite his success, he is about developing young men into good men.
I know this blog is about raising all-star sports fans, rather than all-star athletes. But participating in sports -- playing -- is as much a part about growing up to love sports as a fan as anything else. The goal is to make that sports participation as productive as possible.
-- Dan
Your Baby Is Really Smart (So Stop Watching "Baby Longhorn" DVDs)
"There are no perfect toys; there is no magic formula. Parents and other caregivers teach young children by paying attention and interacting with them naturally and, most of all, by just allowing them to play."
-- Alison Gopnik ("The Philosophical Baby"), in Sunday's New York Times. Fascinating read.
The lesson: Throw out the "Baby Longhorn" DVD and just get on the floor playing with simple toys with your baby. They will be better fans -- and better people -- for it. (Admit it: You are showing them the "Baby Longhorn" DVD for YOU, not them.)
-- Alison Gopnik ("The Philosophical Baby"), in Sunday's New York Times. Fascinating read.
The lesson: Throw out the "Baby Longhorn" DVD and just get on the floor playing with simple toys with your baby. They will be better fans -- and better people -- for it. (Admit it: You are showing them the "Baby Longhorn" DVD for YOU, not them.)
Monday, August 10, 2009
What Do You Do First Thing in the Morning?
In the morning, do you check the status of your fantasy team before you hang out with your kids?
That simply may be the new reality.
As I tried to coin: "Online/offline balance" is the new "work/life balance."
No judgments, by the way. As someone who has had to get up and do work before their kids get up (and, um, after they have gotten up), I appreciate folks who go online before they have to parent.
-- Dan
That simply may be the new reality.
As I tried to coin: "Online/offline balance" is the new "work/life balance."
No judgments, by the way. As someone who has had to get up and do work before their kids get up (and, um, after they have gotten up), I appreciate folks who go online before they have to parent.
-- Dan
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Tweet of the Day: Pat Fitzgerald
From Northwestern football coach Pat Fitzgerald (twitter handle: @coachfitz51)
What a great couple days with our media partners, bowl reps, fellow coaches, student athletes, and FANS! Time to be a DAD!
Lessons From Lance Armstrong
So Lance Armstrong finished 3rd in the 2009 Tour de France. And the 7-time champ is OK with that. In fact, he said it's probably good for his kids to see him finish 3rd.
It's not a bad philosophy overall: Winning ain't everything. It's a goal, but (a) the effort is more important, and (b) sometimes someone else is better.
The same applies to rooting for a team: If your expectation is "title or bust," most fans will be very disappointed. I'm not saying that's wrong, btw. I see it from two perspectives:
One of the things that drew me to Florida was the ridiculously high expectations -- anything less than a national title in football this season would disappoint me beyond belief.
As a Northwestern fan in the early-90s, however, all I wanted was to be competitive in games -- not get blown out. Any win was a good win, and a .500 season -- a bowl game! -- was the dream.
That's part of what made the miracle 1995 season so great -- not only was there a bowl game, but the freaking Rose Bowl -- but I think most NU fans are content with "bowl season."
If you're a Mariners fan, 3rd place might feel pretty good this year, all things considered. If you're a Yankees or Red Sox fan, it is utter disaster.
Expectations are everything. Something to keep in mind when you're teaching your kids about fandom.
-- Dan
It's not a bad philosophy overall: Winning ain't everything. It's a goal, but (a) the effort is more important, and (b) sometimes someone else is better.
The same applies to rooting for a team: If your expectation is "title or bust," most fans will be very disappointed. I'm not saying that's wrong, btw. I see it from two perspectives:
One of the things that drew me to Florida was the ridiculously high expectations -- anything less than a national title in football this season would disappoint me beyond belief.
As a Northwestern fan in the early-90s, however, all I wanted was to be competitive in games -- not get blown out. Any win was a good win, and a .500 season -- a bowl game! -- was the dream.
That's part of what made the miracle 1995 season so great -- not only was there a bowl game, but the freaking Rose Bowl -- but I think most NU fans are content with "bowl season."
If you're a Mariners fan, 3rd place might feel pretty good this year, all things considered. If you're a Yankees or Red Sox fan, it is utter disaster.
Expectations are everything. Something to keep in mind when you're teaching your kids about fandom.
-- Dan
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